ReviewWriter: Siti Munawirah MustaffaWriter Ratings:Overall: Cast: Plot: Effects: Cinematography: Watch this if you liked:
“Crank” and “The Bank Job”
Rare is a term aptly used when Jason Statham is not involved in any action, let alone to die after thousands of shots and stabs. While it's tough imagining a Jason Statham film without guns, blood, sweat and sex, it is actually much tougher watching the English actor act alongside Jennifer Lopez as elements of "Crank" and "Maid In Manhattan" are put together in a Taylor Hackford movie.
Indeed, the chemistry (or lack of) between the two is even more severe than the knife that slowly penetrates deep into Parker's palm.
An adaptation of a novel called "Flashfire" written by pseudonym Richard Stark, "Parker" begins with a different side of Statham; the film's protagonist of the same name, disguised as a priest with a mission to steal a large sum of money at a fun fair. While the plan goes well, Parker is unsurprisingly betrayed by his team of thieves not long after, who decide to eliminate and ditch him by the roadside. Also not to anybody's astonishment, Parker 'resurrects from the dead' and seeks revenge by traveling all the way to Palm Beach, Florida to get his share of money and blood. To do that, he needs to pass off as an Ecuadorian born Texan named Daniel Parmett by donning the big white cowboy hat together with the fancy white suit. Obviously, that does not help him to blend in at all, especially with that thick English accent and the gigantic hat.
The story, sombre at the beginning, soon finds a lighter, albeit awkward turn when diva J-Lo comes into the picture, playing a divorced real estate agent from Palm Beach by the name of Leslie. Even so, Leslie's perky personality and desperate search of a new husband only serves to add up another series of more ridiculously implausible acts to an already ridiculously implausible movie.
The duo's connection is so weak that the moment their lips touch, you cannot help but to make armpit sounds as thoughts of new 'Bennifer' comes to mind. Good news is Parker has never been interested in Leslie from the beginning as he's already taken by his own mentor's daughter.
The worst part of it all comes when Lopez strips to her lingerie, as ordered by Statham who needs to make sure she's not carrying any wire that tapes their conversation. Regardless of his intention or even the director's attempt, the reviewer personally finds that part to be a useless, unnecessary cheap shot in getting more people to watch the movie for the sake of seeing Lopez's tight cheeks (not referring to face here). The extra skin, unfortunately, fails to appeal to anyone; neither Statham nor the reviewer is even the least bit interested at all.
Perhaps that is what you'll get when you combine Lopez and Statham in a show: Violence gets more pointless and chick lit cuteness becomes more irritating than a bad bowel syndrome.Cinema Online, 31 January 2013