Let the craziest predictions begin!
We're in the thick of December and that means awards season is now here, when the best movies of the year rush out to cinemas so that only important people get to see them; important as in the Academy voters. Though the Oscar nominees hasn't been announced yet until 16 January 2014, we decided to get way ahead of ourselves and make our own early predictions of which movies of 2013 would win the coveted Oscar statuette.
We don't have a magical crystal ball or time machine to tell us (and most of these movies would reach our screens after the Oscars anyway), so we are basing our predictions on the buzz and hype these movies have made. So as a disclaimer, these predictions are most likely influenced on who we would like to give the Oscars to and have the accuracy of hitting a bull's-eye on the moon. In other words, we even bet against ourselves to get these winners right.
Also, our predictions will only be focusing on the major awards because it's easier to predict those than the technical awards like cinematography and editing (which we think are boring anyway). No documentaries too because...no one gets to see those.
Best Animated Feature
Winner: "The Wind Rises"
It's a tough call for this one, even as much as we would like to give it to "Frozen". But "The Wind Rises" is the last movie we will ever see from the great Hayao Miyazaki and he's only won like one Oscar for "Spirited Away" more than 10 years ago, while Disney has already won dozens thanks to Pixar. So Disney can come back next year.
Best Foreign Language Film
The first film to come out from Saudi Arabia and directed by a woman! That's the kind of novelty that would get the conservative shacks in the Academy voting for it. Though we could say that it would only narrowly beat Anthony Chen's "Ilo Ilo" from Singapore. Either way, Asia is going to take it for sure!
Best Adapted Screenplay
Winner:"12 Years A Slave"
"12 Years A Slave" is a big contender on our list and we think this is just one of the categories that it would be customary for it to win if it is for the biggest prize of them all. But if we had to forget about John Ridley's adaptation, then it would have to be "The Wolf of Wall Street".
Best Original Screenplay
Winner:"Inside Llewyn Davis"
It's another tough one to call with Woody Allen and the Coen Brothers together for the first time in the same year, but we have to give this one to the Coens this time around, because they are better at making short but strong statements than Allen's almost rambling lines just to make a point.
Best Supporting Actress
Lots of people are saying that it's going to be a sure win for newcomer Lupita Nyong'o for "12 Years A Slave", but we don't want to make a predictable list. So we decided to go for Scarlett Johansson's role in "Her". Firstly; it's because we have a crush on her over Oprah Winfrey. Secondly; because we all had our fantasies when talking to Siri, and we'd love to see her pull an upset by beating everyone in this category with just her voice appearing in the movie alongside Joaquin Phoenix.
Best Supporting Actor
There hasn't been much buzz about this category so far other than the films that are customary to win this category. But we want to look outside the box and see if anyone on the possible nominees deserve to win something and we came up with the late James Gandolfini. Come on, the man deserves something, even if it was posthumously.
There's too many possible winners in this category that we almost picked one at random. So we figured watching Cate Blanchett going "Young Adult" (except the young bit) in "Blue Jasmine" sounds more fun than Judi Dench going too sappy on us for her long lost child. Not that we deny that we weren't looking at Sandra Bullock in "Gravity" or Amy Adams in "American Hustle", but the Oscars is more to skill than skin.
I guess it's pretty obvious why we chose DiCaprio as our pick is because of those Internet memes about him. Give the man his long overdue break, geez! But in all seriousness, this one would probably go to Chiwetel Ejiofer for "12 Years A Slave" or Tom Hanks in "Captain Phillips".
There's only so few directors that has any chance of winning this that can make you watch paint dry like in "Gravity", so Cuaron floats as our top choice. The only other person that can probably do the long takes like Cuaron is Steve McQueen, but we take the view of spinning around space over seeing slaves getting whipped any day.
Winner:"12 Years A Slave"
We already mentioned that "12 Years A Slave" would be big in our list, so there you have it. This one has the lashes of an Oscar bait all over it, and only the Academy's phobia of admitting the past mistakes of America's proud history would vote against this one. The alternatives for Best Picture aren't too bad and a safer bet may go to Martin Scorsese's "The Wolf of Wall Street" or Alfonso Cuaron's "Gravity".
Cinema Online, 17 December 2013