Writer: Ezekiel Lee Zhiang Yang

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Watch this if you liked: "Jumanji", "T-Rex"

Drama, dinosaurs and decency. That's what the 3D stands for; and that's what there's not enough of!

The latest adaptation of the Jules Verne classic is all about making minimum requirements. Check all the usual cinegredients for known offenders - token 90 minutes runtime, one famous actor and passenger co-stars, paper-flimsy kids-friendly plot with awesome special effects - all shuffled nicely into a Hollywood package that guarantees its marketability and appeal. With such small ambitions, who is to tell Brendan Fraser that he was meant for bigger things?

Obviously he's not - and neither will this movie ever be. The Canadian actor has made a very decent living out of playing buffoons ("George Of The Jungle", "Dudley Do-Right", "Bedazzled") and hasn't looked back since. It's such a shame that he's actually not a bad actor if you've seen movies like "Journey To The End Of The Night" (unrelated gangland drama) but this one particular journey isn't about him, is it? In fact, it's hardly about anything!

Token reverence is paid to Verne but throwing in a goofy uni professor, a prepubescent kid and a hot Icelandic mountain guide into the centre of the earth ought to have had more explaining, or more audience engagement. Sure the animated stuff are gorgeous to look at (not to mention how realistic it can get when Brendan Fraser spits Listerine onto the screen) but "Journey" had decided on a story so thin, it becomes a sort of poor man's "Jumanji". Instead of being truly enchanted by the ride, we are merely bewildered by the various moving objects that vie for our attention. "300" was just as bad if we're looking for examples of poor-movie-making excuses but at least that had an undeniable excitement with its visual demands. "Journey" somehow ends up floating us here and there, never giving that stinging cinematic slap we would have wished for out of a 3D movie.

Oh well, at least we were introduced to Anita Briem who played the blonde mountain guide.

So it comes as no surprise that "Journey To The Center Of The Earth 3D" makes the minimum decent star rating: three - one for every D. Now, behave yourself and return the 3D glasses, will you?

Cinema Online, 23 September 2008